Recent things have been happening in my life that have really made me question things. The things meaning religion and where God fits into it. I have become a born-again believer by realizing that I am a sinner and God is the ultimate judge and even though he is a loving God He is also a very just God and I was sentenced to hell. I have since acknowledged that Jesus paid for my sins on the cross thus saving me. I have been attending an independant baptist church for quite awhile mainly because I believe that they teach right from the Bible. I get a shudder when I hear a pastor or preacher say "well, I think..." To me it's what God thinks that is important.
Enough of the backstory, I do hope you are with me. Anyhoo, as I have said before recent events have made me question what is truly behind some people in these churches. I heard a sermon about wolves and how dangerous they are. There is something to be said about a wolf in sheeps clothing. I feel as if I have been attending churches filled with quite a number of wolves. But again, that is how I FEEL.
The hard part I am having is going with what I KNOW not FEEL. So, you ask, what do you know? I know that God has specially designed this particular time in my life and it is a type of test. One I just may be failing miserably at. If that is the case, I really do NOT want a do-over. I also know I am spending too much time looking at everyone else and how they are acting/reacting to this circumstance. Some are encouraging while unfortunately most are not. That is what makes me question these people and their hearts. I have a very scant few who are supporting me and listening to my rants and anger. THEY are the ones that hold true to the definition of friendship. The others are.........human.
I don't know, I was thinking about the book of Job and I need to study it. He had everything taken away from him and as of late that is how I feel. Unfortuantely I am acting like his wife by thinking I should curse God and die. I can't do that......completely. There is still the Holy Spirit living in me that is putting up a good battle with myself and it is indeed a painful one.
So, back and forth it will go, how long, I don't know.
Just remember hes always there with his hand out helping you up each time you fall and with out that i realy dont think you would have made it this far remember the footprints poem well he is carrying you now he is the light that is on the path you need to go in the darkness that is about you
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