Recent things have been happening in my life that have really made me question things. The things meaning religion and where God fits into it. I have become a born-again believer by realizing that I am a sinner and God is the ultimate judge and even though he is a loving God He is also a very just God and I was sentenced to hell. I have since acknowledged that Jesus paid for my sins on the cross thus saving me. I have been attending an independant baptist church for quite awhile mainly because I believe that they teach right from the Bible. I get a shudder when I hear a pastor or preacher say "well, I think..." To me it's what God thinks that is important.
Enough of the backstory, I do hope you are with me. Anyhoo, as I have said before recent events have made me question what is truly behind some people in these churches. I heard a sermon about wolves and how dangerous they are. There is something to be said about a wolf in sheeps clothing. I feel as if I have been attending churches filled with quite a number of wolves. But again, that is how I FEEL.
The hard part I am having is going with what I KNOW not FEEL. So, you ask, what do you know? I know that God has specially designed this particular time in my life and it is a type of test. One I just may be failing miserably at. If that is the case, I really do NOT want a do-over. I also know I am spending too much time looking at everyone else and how they are acting/reacting to this circumstance. Some are encouraging while unfortunately most are not. That is what makes me question these people and their hearts. I have a very scant few who are supporting me and listening to my rants and anger. THEY are the ones that hold true to the definition of friendship. The others are.........human.
I don't know, I was thinking about the book of Job and I need to study it. He had everything taken away from him and as of late that is how I feel. Unfortuantely I am acting like his wife by thinking I should curse God and die. I can't do that......completely. There is still the Holy Spirit living in me that is putting up a good battle with myself and it is indeed a painful one.
So, back and forth it will go, how long, I don't know.
